The editor of 40 South fired off an email to me. “Craig – I was sent this. Could be something…”
‘Something’ turned out to be an item on a Maplewood resident, Amy Jones, who has started an Indiegogo campaign to raise funds for a new underwear line, named “Amie’s Undies”. Amy has created a new sizing system “based off the different sizes of backsides.” Unambiguously, women’s backsides.
I emailed back that I’d check it out.
He emailed right back, “Thanks. Was thinking — do it straight (as possible)”
I will go strictly by the request of the editor, mainly the “as possible” part.
Here goes…
Amy’s Undies utilizes advertising slogans and buzz phrases that are direct and humorous descriptions of one particular part of the anatomy. Ms. Jones employs the terms women use among themselves, hilariously. So, where the old-time underwear and brassiere commercials used the euphemisms “full-figured” and “plus-sized”, Ms. Jones’ underwear is for women who “have more booty”, for women with “Big Butts”, and for women who are merely “rounded on the backside.” This is a product whose advertising shouts out on its Facebook page, “Finally! Women’s Underwear Made for Bigger Butts!”
Ms. Jones was asked if there was a market for her product? “Over 29 percent of women have a butt that is proportionally outside the current sizing standards,” Ms. Jones says.
And, if not a written guarantee, the underwear come with an assurance that, once again, is worded in the vernacular: “If you suffer from eternal wedgies due to having your plumper backside being pushed into “normal butt” panties, be relieved, our patent pending sizing system ensures that is a thing of the past.” No legal document will ever be clearer.
I’ve done my journalistic best to follow the editor’s suggestion to “do it straight (as possible)”. It was not easy to ignore the comic possibilities of an underwear company with ads like, “Finally! Women’s Underwear Made for Bigger Butts”, and giveaways like “I Love Big Butts” bumper-stickers. And, so far, I have kept on the narrow path. However, I do wish there had been something somewhere on her website that would, once and for all be the answer to the Zen question: “Do you think these jeans make my butt look big?”
If you want to check out Amy’s Undies Indiegogo campaign, click here:
hhhmmmmm……
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