The “Batteries Not Included” racket is one of the greatest of all time, right up there with ordering a ten-dollar hamburger with “Fries Not Included”, and paying an extra 75 cents for black olives or mushrooms on your pizza.
I’m used to buying gadgets for which the batteries are ‘not included. I even expect it. I wouldn’t think of buying a flashlight without also heading to the battery rack.
I recently I bought a Propane Designer Series Stainless Steel Grill, a piece of equipment that doesn’t require batteries. When I read the owner’s manual, I learned that something important to powering my grill was ‘not included’. The propane tank. That didn’t seem fair.
Everything that is “not included” is always something that is vital to the operation of the device. Like batteries. All of us know that the exclusion of batteries means that we have to buy them extra. Like I said, great racket
Well, I also want things to be “not included” that I didn’t want included in the first place.
Here are some of the things I would have preferred been excluded from my Propane Designer Series Stainless Steel Grill:
- Assembly instructions in three languages that no American can read—‘not included’.
- Ultra-sensitive electronic ignition switch that detonates with the force of a Space Shuttle take-off—“not included”.
- Cheap, wobbly wheels that are thinner than the spaces in your backyard deck, and will cause the unit to overturn and dump molten barbecue sauce on your feet—“not included”.
- Metal cooking utensils that conduct temperatures fifty times hotter than the Sun from the tines to the handle faster than you can flip your hamburger—“not included”.
- And there’s one thing that, in my opinion, every barbecue rig sold should include: Six cold ones.
Instead of the fluild Use a “chimney” Clean burn and fun to start. Plus it takes patience that you have Hawksley……….Yeahhhh
Tommy:
Is that what you use at Hugo’s? The method I prefer is still the shock and awe method: An entire 32 oz. bottle of lighter fluid. Stand back and toss in a match. Coals are white hot, you’re ready to go.
Patty, I bought it because it’s one of those super-pits with side burners, and a smoker and a place to keep food warm. And because I’m stupid. Truthfully, a basic round barbecue pit with a mound of charcoal and a quart of fluid does just as well.
Okay, Craig. Fun article. But, please tell me why you bought this thing?!
Due to shipping, handling and storage restrictions the tank would have to be empty anyway and you would have to get it filled after unpacking. Grabbing one from the outdoor kiosks on the way out probably makes more sense.
Comments are closed.